"You’re only half-Japanese. Just admit you’re white! Quit trying to be special."
"Your food smells gross."
"So do tentacles turn you on?"
"You’ve got big boobs… for an Asian."
"You don’t look Asian. You don’t have c**nk eyes."
"Can you do my math homework?"
"Don’t you dare touch my dog/cat. You’re gonna try to eat it!"
"I have a kimono too!" Proceeds to show me a picture of them wearing a cheap shiny bathrobe.
"Can I be an honorary Asian? I loooooove Asian food and culture!"
"Stop trying to play the race card. That just makes you ignorant. White males have it harder than anyone else in the U.S."
"You always complain about racism and oppression and shit. If you hate the U.S. that much why don’t you just leave?"
"Did your mom immigrate here illegally?"